When God Waits
One of the most difficult questions for Christian parents to answer is, “Why did God let this happen?” At issue may be the death of a loved one or a pet or any devastating loss deeply felt. If God is good and powerful and loving, why didn’t He step in? Why didn’t He stop it?
It can be a faith-challenging question for all of us. Even the good answers—the right answers—don’t always provide all of the comfort we’re looking for. Still, we know our God is trustworthy and that He truly loves us, and we’d like to communicate that assurance to our kids.
We’re going to approach the question this week from the perspective of John 11 and Jesus’ resurrection of Lazarus from the dead. In that story, Jesus is aware that His good friend is dying and He purposefully takes no action until it is “too late.” Jesus is saddened by the loss—and the pain felt by Mary and Martha—but He is also aware that He is serving a great purpose and the good of all involved by not stopping Lazarus from dying.
We hope a few of the questions below are helpful to you in beginning a conversation with your child about God’s goodness even when He doesn’t act as we expect or in accordance with our wishes. You might find it helpful to read through the story together in John 11:1-44.
[NOTE: This is the first of two parts. We will conclude the talking points about this chapter in next week’s Conversation Starters.]
Talking Points
- Have you ever wondered why God seemed not to answer one of your prayers—or why He said no?
- Why do you think God sometimes says no to requests for things that seem like they would be good for everyone?
- Does the existence of evil or the reality of great suffering ever make you question whether God is reliable? Or good? Or powerful? Or loving?
- Do you think God cares how we feel about His responses to our prayers or our pain?
- How much do you remember about the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead? [Parent: Consider suggesting that the two of you read John 11 together.]
- John 11 tells us that Jesus loved Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha. Are you convinced that God loves you? [Parent: Try to reinforce the idea that God proved His love for your child by sending Jesus to die for them, in addition to the many other good gifts He has provided.]
- Jesus got the message from Mary and Martha. He knew Lazarus was sick. How can you be sure that God hears your prayers and knows what’s going on with you? [Parent: You might use Romans 8:26-27 to help answer this question. God’s Spirit communicates to Him perfectly our requests. We can be confident He hears us.]
- Jesus made the choice to wait to go to Lazarus and his sisters until after Lazarus was dead. In your own words, why do you think He did that? [Parent: In John 11, Jesus gives several reasons, including a plan to bring glory to God and to help others believe in God’s power in Him.]
- Do you think Jesus was making a choice between helping the people He cared about and fulfilling His own plans? Why or why not? [Parent: Try to emphasize the idea that God does not have to choose between helping those He loves and accomplishing His plan. You can use Romans 8:28 to show that He does both at the same time, even if His plan for us isn’t the one we would always choose ourselves.]
- Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand why, if Lazarus was already dead, Jesus would risk His life to go to a place where He would likely be killed —but they agreed to go with Him, anyway. How hard is it to trust that God knows what He’s doing when life feels dangerous? What makes it easier to trust Him? [Parent: Think about using John 11:9-10 to show that we are never safer than when walking in the daylight of God’s will—even if it feels really dark from our point of view.]
- Jesus tells the disciples He’s glad He wasn’t there to save Lazarus so they could believe. Is it a weird idea that God might sometimes not answer our prayers in the way we hope in order to help our faith grow? Can you think of an example of that happening in your life? [Parent: It might help for you to think of a time when getting what you wanted would have turned out to be much worse than what God ended up providing.]
- Martha tells Jesus that if He had been there, Lazarus would have lived—but that she also knows God will give Jesus whatever He asks. How can our disappointment with God’s answers to our prayers also be a way of showing that we believe in Him? [Parent: Help explain that our disappointment with God’s choices shows that we believe He is powerful enough to have stepped in and changed our circumstances. Disappointment doesn’t have to be evidence that we don’t trust God.]
- In your own words, how would you describe Jesus’ message of salvation? Now, let’s read how He puts it—and Martha’s statement of Christian belief—John 11:25-27.
- In your own words, how would you say we can know that God loves us and that He is powerful, good, and trustworthy—even when He doesn’t answer our prayers in the way we hope He would?
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