The Ten Commandments
Why talk about the Ten Commandments with your son or daughter? It’s worth asking the question. After all, we’re trying to help our students to catch the idea that, as Christians, we are saved by grace and not by following the law—that our struggle with sin, including the big Ten, does not disqualify us from being loved by God if our faith is in Christ.
Unfortunately, the message many teens hear (right along with people of every age) is that our sin doesn’t really matter that much to God, after all. If forgiveness is given away for free to all who believe, some assume that what is forgiven is therefore not all that significant. We cannot over-emphasize the grace of God to our kids, but we can under-emphasize His revulsion to our sin.
That’s why we—and especially our kids—need to understand God’s standard for right and wrong in order to get how amazing His grace really is. The Ten Commandments is a good place to start talking about why God takes sin so seriously. These rules reveal who God is—what matters to Him and what He wants for His children.
We hope a few of the following questions will help you to have a productive conversation with your child about the Ten Commandments and the grace of God. You might find it helpful to read through Exodus 20:1-17 together. If you don’t have an opportunity to talk through the whole list, it would be easy to bring up any or all of the commandments—or even just the idea of the list—in smaller conversations as teachable moments present themselves.
Talking Points
- How many of the Ten Commandments can you name without looking? [Parent: Have the list ready to complete it together.]
- Do you remember the story of where and how God gave these ten rules to the Israelites? [Parent: Be prepared to sketch out the backstory from Exodus 19: It had been 3 months since the Israelites had crossed the Red Sea, escaping from Egypt. One of God’s first stops for them was at Mount Sinai, where He gave these commandments.]
- Do you think it’s important for Christians to know and understand the Ten Commandments? Why or why not?
- Is it worse for us to break these rules than to break others of God’s instructions in the Bible? What “happens to you” if you break one of these commands? Will God hate you or punish you? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that we are all sinners and can be saved only by God’s grace and forgiveness through faith in Jesus. Help your child to understand that God’s forgiveness for those in Christ covers all of our sin.]
- If our Father has already forgiven our sin through our faith in Jesus’ death in our place on the cross—why does it matter that we know about the law? Does God really care if we keep sinning? [Parent: Check out Romans 5 and 6 for good answers to these questions if you want to go deeper.]
- What do the first two commands—no other gods and no idols—tell us about God? Why do you think He is so opposed to His people worshipping other gods or looking to other supernatural sources for help?
- Most people we know don’t worship actual idols they think of as gods. But what kinds of things do people in our culture tend to put ahead of god? What kinds of things do we turn to for help instead of God?
- Paul describes greed as idol worship (in Ephesians 5:5 and Colossians 3:5). How is wanting and trying to get things you don’t need like worshiping an idol?
- The third commandment warns against using God’s name in vain. His name has power. To use it in vain means to disrespect Him or to misuse His power. Do you think anyone takes this command seriously any more? How many people do you know who refuse to use God’s name in disrespectful or deceitful ways?
- What choices have you made about using God’s name or Jesus’ name for swearing or lying or condemning people? Some Christians don’t seem uncomfortable saying “oh my God” or “Jesus” when they’re excited or angry. Why do you think that is?
- “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy” is the fourth command to the Israelites. It’s the only one on the list that New Testament Christians are not called to practice in exactly the same way. Why is that? [Parent: Be prepared to explain your understanding of the Sabbath and how your church addresses it.]
- Commandment 5 gets repeated almost exactly in Ephesians 6:1-3. What does it mean to you to honor your parents? Should it matter whether your parents deserve honor or not, according to God?
- Why do you think this command was important enough to make the list? Do you think it takes more faith in God for some people to obey this command than others? Why?
- Commands 6 - 8 are the simplest ones: Don’t murder. Don’t commit adultery. Don’t steal. Do you think God intended for there to be any exceptions to these commands? Why or why not?
- The ninth commandment deals with lying, specifically lying in a legal sense to hurt another person. Has anyone ever lied in a way that ended up hurting you? Can you think of any reasons that lying about someone else would ever be justified?
- Proverbs tells us that lying is one of the things God really hates. Why do you think He’s so passionate about not telling the truth?
- The tenth commandment talks about coveting. How would you define coveting?
- One definition for coveting could be to make a choice not to be content because you don’t have what someone else has. Why would God care so much whether we’re content or not, as long as we’re keeping all these other commands? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that what this list shows, in part, is that God really cares that we are satisfied that He is the one who meets all of our needs, that we don’t need anything apart from what He gives to us. God wants our hearts to be fully satisfied with Him.]
- How are we doing as a family at following these commandments? If someone is able to keep them all, does that make them a better person? A better Christian? Good enough to get into heaven? Why or why not? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that though God is pleased with our obedience, all of us have sinned. None of us can ever earn a place in heaven, because we can’t obey Him perfectly.]
- If someone has broken many—or all—of these commands, is that person doomed? [Parent: It would be great to end this conversation by emphasizing again that Jesus was doomed (or “crushed”) in the place of all who have broken these or other commands of God—and put their trust in Him to receive forgiveness for those sins.]
- So why does it matter so much that we try to obey God now? Why does it matter that we try to live like Jesus—with the help of the Holy Spirit?
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