Redefining Success
What are you some of your deepest hopes for your children? I’m not sure I think about that question enough. My gut reaction is that I’d like to see my son succeed in the world as a man of character who excels in his chosen field. I’d like him to be wise and loving and strong enough to accomplish meaningful things. I’d like him to be influential and use that influence for God’s glory.
That all sounds good, but there’s a seed of my own selfishness in the middle of it. The harder question is rather I want him to walk the path of Jesus or not, to live according to the uncompromising will of God on a cruel planet.
We’re pulling our talking points this week from 1 Peter 4:1-11, where Peter tells us—and our Christian kids—to live as if we have suffered as Jesus did and, thus, be done with sin. He tells us to opt out of all of the “party sins” and to expect to be mocked and lonely because of it.
He tells us to live to pray, to live to love, to live to serve. Not once does he tell us to live to succeed, to excel, or to be influential in the sense of those words that I imagine from my world-tainted perspective.
Are we rooting for our kids to mocked by the party people—even the successful and influential ones—and to grow up to be loving, praying servants? Let’s talk with them about those ideas this week.
Talking Points
- When you think of a successful life, what kind of things do you picture?
- How important is money to living a successful life? What are some of the best ways to end up having plenty of money?
- How importing is having fun and really enjoying yourself to having a successful life? What are some of the best ways to make sure you always have a good time?
- How important is doing significant, meaningful things to having a successful life? What’s the best path to trying to do significant things with your life?
- As your parent, I would love for you to have a life that includes financial security, doing lots of things you enjoy, having lots of fulfilling relationships, and really making a remarkable difference in the world. Do you think what I naturally want for you and what God wants for you are always the same thing? [Parent: As surprising as it might be, emphasize that what you would most naturally choose for your child and what God chooses for them might not always be the same thing—and that what He wants for them is always better.]
- How do you think God defines a successful life? [Parent: After discussing this for a while, think about reading 1 Peter 4:1-11 together.]
- One of the ways God defines success for us is that we be done with sin and not waste the rest of our lives just trying to satisfy our body’s appetites. Have you noticed that some people seem to live only for physical pleasure? What’s wrong with that as a motive for living?
- Another way God defines success is that we care most about doing what God wants—living for His will. Do you think His will for us always includes financial security, having people like us, and being respected in this life for our achievements? Why or why not?
- Peter promises that the party people—who are sometimes very successful, popular, and fun people—will “abuse” us if we don’t play along with them. Have you ever seen that happen to someone? Can a person be successful and still be unpopular? How so?
- Peter also writes that though we might get judged by people for not playing along with the “party sins,” they will be judged by God for their choices. Which judgement matters more, do you think? How hard is it to care more about God’s judgement than the judgement of people in this life?
- People work really hard to be successful in every area of life, no matter how they define success. Peter writes that we should work really hard—discipline ourselves—so that we can . . . pray. How often do you think anyone defines being able to pray as having a successful life? What makes prayer hard to do?
- In verse 8, Peter defines the highest success as loving others deeply. Everyone—even unbelievers—seems to think that love is important. What do you think God means when he tells us to be successful in loving others? As a hint, how did Jesus show His love for us?
- Finally, Peter defines success as powerfully, masterfully serving others with His gifts, His words, and His strength. How often are servants thought of as the most successful people in life? Would it be weird for your parents to want you to grow up to be a great servant of other people? Why or why not?
- Verse 11 describes the ultimate goal of our lives—to bring God praise and glory, not to bring praise and glory to ourselves. What do you think is the best way to accomplish that with our lives?
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