Clean Hands Empty Hearts
Kids in our culture live with two everyday realities unique to growing up.
One is that their lives are dominated by rules and regulations. Whether they heed them all or not, almost every arena they participate in involves learning new rules and then learning the consequences for breaking those rules. Home, school, church, sports, clubs, even becoming a new driver—each comes with a set of rules and consequences.
The other reality of childhood and adolescence is being rewarded and praised based on right behavior. Its kind of the other side of all of the rule-making. We as a society currently are very free with our praise when kids act right, look right, talk right, and succeed in any way imaginable.
Even for kids who don’t grow up in strict church environments, it’s easy to see why some get the idea that what we do is what’s most important to the adults in our lives, to our spiritual leaders, and even to God. We send them loud messages that say, “Success means obeying the rules and achieving in comparison to your peers.”
I bring this up because our talking points for the week are from Mark 7:1-23, in which the Pharisees attempted to discredit Jesus because His disciples didn’t follow the rules about hand-washing before eating.
Jesus’ response was that God cares more about what’s in our hearts—and what comes out of our hearts—than our success at following the traditions of men and submitting to man-made rules.
It’s a message our kids have likely heard but might understandably have a hard time buying that we believe. Our hope is that a few of the questions below might spur some good conversation about rules and hearts and the grace of God.
Talking Points:
- What would you say are the three most important rules we have for you at home?
- What are the three biggest rules for you at school?
- How about the three biggest rules of driving a car?
- Do you think all of these rules have a point? Are they just a way of controlling people, or are most of them in place because they’re for our good?
- What would you say are three things you’ve been praised for in the last week or so? Or what have you been complimented for?
- What are some of the rewards you’re most proud of? [Parent: Feel free to respond letting them know you’re proud of them, as well.]
- What do you think are God’s three biggest rules for you right now in your life?
- What do you think He would be mostly likely to reward you for?
- Do you think that God likes you? Why or why not?
- Do you think God likes you or loves you because you keep the rules really well?
- Do you think He would like you less if you stopped keeping them? [Parent: Don’t miss an opportunity to emphasize that God proved His love for us by sending His Son to die for us when we were still breaking all of the rules—and that right now He loves Christians completely because He sees us as His children and as having Jesus’ righteousness on us. We can’ make Him stop loving or liking us.]
- Setting aside all of the rules and rewards for a minute, do you like God? Would you say you love Him, even?
- What are the three things you think of first when you think about praising or worshipping Him? What is really great about Him?
- In Mark 7, some of the Jewish religious leaders criticized Jesus for not making His disciples follow all of the extra rules they had that went along with the Law. Then Jesus criticized them for caring more about obeying man-made rules than being close to God in their hearts.
- Do you think we give people the idea that following rules is the thing God cares about most?
- How could we do better at communicating that God cares most about our being close to Him in our hearts and minds?
- Do you think that means we don’t have to obey him? Or do you think that obeying Him comes out of being close to Him?
- What are some ways we can get closer to God in our hearts and minds?
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