Bigger Love
Do you make a deal out of Valentine’s week at your house? Families vary in their celebrations and/or avoidance of the day, but the cultural focus does give us a chance to talk about a big idea with our kids: love.
Is there a more important truth to communicate to anyone than the fact that they are loved by the God of the universe? It’s an easy thing to say, “God loves you, and so do I,” but parents play a key role in convincing children that is is possible for them to be loved both because of and in spite of themselves.
This week, we’re encouraging a conversation about exactly that. Talking won’t prove to your kids they are loved by you and/or by God, but some good listening will give you insight into how they are perceiving what it means to be loved or to pass love on.
Talking Points
- What do you think is the point of Valentine’s Day? Is it a big deal to you? Do you enjoy it?
- What are some of your favorite memories of Valentine’s Day? Least favorite?
- Does all the attention around Valentine’s Day make you feel like you should have (or glad that you do have) a boy/girlfriend?
- Have you ever known Valentine’s Day—or the way it is celebrated—to make people feel badly about not being loved in one way or another?
- Do you think of Valentine’s Day as only being about romantic love—or can it also be about friends and families finding ways to say, “I love you”?
- How would you describe the different kids of love there are—family love, friend love, romantic love, etc.? What are the differences between them?
- As your parent(s), we tell you we love you sometimes. Do you see any evidence—outside of our words—that we love you? How do our actions help to back up what we say?
- How can we know that God loves us, too? [Parent: Emphasize that God proved His love to us when He gave Jesus to die for us. See Romans 58.]
- What do we have to do to be lovable to God? [Parent: This is a trick question, of course. God demonstrated His love for us “while we were still sinners.” See Romans 5:6-8. His love is not earned and doesn’t go away when we are unlovely.]
- We’re told that God loves us “unconditionally,” meaning that it’s not because we earn His love or do things He likes. Can you think of some specific ways God has shown His unconditional love to you? [Parent: Think about reading through and talking about 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 together.]
- What are some of the wrong ideas we have about how God loves us?
- What are some of the ways that we have trouble loving other people with God’s kind of love?
- Parents sometimes discipline their kids. Do you think parents love their children less while they are disciplining them? Why or why not?
- Do you think God disciplines us as His kids? [Parent: Think about reading Hebrews 12:1-14 together. It says that God does exactly that because He loves us.]
- How does the idea of love get confused when it comes to friendships or boyfriend/girlfriend relationships? [Parent: Sometimes, friends or boy/girlfriends wrongly believe that feelings of attraction are the same as the commitment of love—or that being loved means someone should always do exactly what you want them to. In short, the world misunderstands love as either an emotion that comes or goes—or a reason for taking instead of giving.]
- How many people can you name that you believe truly love you?
- How many people can you name that you are committed to loving?
- How can we as a family do a better job of imitating the kind of love God has for us?
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