Angry Much?
A lot of the drama in the lives of students revolves around anger issues. That’s partly because we live in an anger-driven world and partly because adolescent hormones make angry feelings rise to the surface more easily.
In their daily lives, teens must navigate unresolved conflicts within their circle of friends, anger directed toward them (rightly or not) from those in authority, and their own feelings of resentment or outbursts of rage. Much of that anger has to do with perceptions of fairness, respect, and betrayal.
Some students also wonder if maybe God is angry with them. Sometimes they feel like He probably should be. At other times, they may resent Him for His anger based on a wrong understanding of who God is.
The teen years can be a time when a person learns to recognize, respect, and control anger. A few of the following questions (and related Bible passages) might help you to have a helpful conversation with your student about anger.
Talking Points:
- Do you think of God as being angry, in general, or angry with you? The Bible describes Him as being slow to get angry; does that fit with your picture of Him? (See Psalm 145:8.)
- What do you think our lives would be like if God were truly angry with us all the time?
- For Christians, why do you think God is NOT angry with us about our sinful choices? (Emphasize the fact that God gives us credit for Jesus’ perfect choices. Think about reading Romans 8:1-2 together if there’s any question about this.)
- God warns us to avoid making friends with people who are quick to get angry. (See Proverbs 22:24-25.) Why do you think that is?
- Would you describe any of your good friends as angry or “hot tempered” people? Has any one else’s anger problem ever cause you pain or trouble?
- Everyone gets angry sometimes, including parents. (Think about talking about the issue of anger between you and your child and trying to clear the air about any unresolved anger questions between you. If it seems healthy, you might consider bringing up Ephesians 6:4 and talking about how dads can sometimes help their kids to feel more or less angry over time.)
- Would you say it ever feels good to get really angry? Why or why not?
- The Bible says that it is unwise to completely unleash our anger—to just let ourselves express our angry feelings without holding back. (See Proverbs 29:11.) Why do you think that is?
- Do you think people are more or less likely to sin when they’re angry? (See Proverbs 29:22.)
- God’s Word makes a big deal about how quickly we get angry. We’re told that love is not easily angered and that God is slow to get angry. On a scale from 1 to 10—with 10 being the fastest—how quickly do you tend to get angry? (See Ecclesiastes 7:9. Think about being honest about your own anger speed.)
- Do you think getting angry is a sin all by itself? (No! Emphasize this idea strongly and think about reading Ephesians 4:26 together.)
- The Bible commands us not let anger lead us into sin and not to hold onto our anger overnight. Once you get angry, how hard is it to let go of anger? (Think about sharing some ways you might have learned for letting go of anger.)
- Anger sometimes makes us feel stronger; do you think it ever helps us to make better choices? (Not usually. See James 1:20.)
- How is letting go of anger similar to making a choice to trust God? (Emphasize that when we let go of anger we’re deciding to believe that God is in control, that He is good and powerful and loving, and that He will bring about the best possible result in the situation in the long run.)
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