Why do I need friends?
We don’t need everybody to be our best friends. That space in our lives is reserved for only a few at a time. We need all these levels of relationships so we can be healthy and happy. Our closest friends influence us and shape the direction of our lives-sometimes in positive ways, but sometimes in not-so-positive ways. Friends can make us do the craziest things. When I was in the sixth grade, my mom and dad left on a trip to Hawaii and left me with my friend, Ian, down the street. That night after my mom and dad left, Ian and I went to bed in his room. We were having a blast together, and we did not want to go to school the next day! We concocted a plan. I whispered to him, “In the morning, let’s fake like we’re sick.”
But Ian shook his head, “No, my mom is pretty sharp. We’d have to prove to her that we’re sick.” I asked, “What kind of proof would she need?” “She’d need to see us throw up or something like that.” I nodded, “I can do that!”
When my brother was just a little kid, he thought he was gargling mouth wash but was really gargling my mother’s fingernail polish remover. He didn’t know he was supposed to spit it out, so he swallowed it. My mom drove (she almost flew!) to the drug store and got some Syrup of Ipecac for him. Within three or four minutes, my brother threw up. As I related this incident to Ian, I couldn’t remember what this stuff was called. I just knew that it had a really weird name, and I knew that we had a bottle of it somewhere around our house. I told Ian, “Look, we’ll run down the street to my house. We’ll sneak in through the window and go into the medicine cabinet and get the bottle. We’ll take it in the morning, we’ll throw up, and we won’t have to go to school!”
Ian and I sneaked out of his house and ran down the street. We climbed in a window at my house and went to the medicine cabinet. I found something that looked vaguely like the stuff that made my brother barf. “All right.” I said, “Yeah, that ‘s it. That’s what she gave him.”
Ian was thrilled, “Really?” “Yeah. All we’ve got to do is take a couple of swallows in the morning, and we’ll be throwing up all over the place. Then we can stay home!” It was a bottle of laxative. The next morning, we woke up and went down for breakfast. On the way back up to his room, Ian whispered, “Do we take it now?” I said, “Well, we need to take it about five minutes before we want to throw up.” He nodded, “All right. Let’s load up.” We each took two big gulps, then we went downstairs and walked around his mom while we waited to throw up. Nothing happened. Our eyes told each other, “Oh no, this isn’t working! What’s going on?”
Ian’s mom took us to school that day. After lunch I was sitting in class. All of a sudden I started to get a really strange feeling in my stomach. There were incredible rumblings from the deep! I had to make an exit-fast! I ran to the front of the class and grabbed the bathroom pass. I didn’t even ask the teacher. I ran out the door and down the hall to the bathroom. When I reached the stall, I heard an incredible sound next to me, “AHHHHHH!!!!!”
“Ian, is that you?” “Yeah. Hey, Mark, I don’t think that stuff makes you throw up.” “Yeah, you’re right. We’ve got the wrong end.”
Friends influence us. They make us do the craziest things. Friends can be a wonderful, positive influence on us, but like Ian found out the hard way, they can also lead us down the wrong path!
There have been times in my life when I was confused. I didn’t know which way to turn. Some good friends listened to me and gave me good, solid advice that I really needed to hear. On some other occasions, some friends were more like my little brother’s buddy, Paul. When I was in high school, some guys wanted to see what I’d do if I got high. They baked some brownies laced with drugs and gave me some. Fortunately another friend told me what was going on before I ate them. My “friends” were all set for a good laugh watching me act crazy, but people who only want to use us aren’t friends at all-on any level.
Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” When I was in high school, I hung out with really smart people. I was only an average student, but five of my friends were valedictorians. They all had matching GPAs. We had to listen to five valedictory speeches at my graduation! (Imagine that joy.) I was their friend. Guess what? That made me a little better student. I sat next to a guy named Steven in every science class. Steven usually made 100, but sometimes he had a quarter of a point taken off for something. I’d get a D on my paper, like in AP physics, and Steven made a 99.75 and he goes, “AHHHHHHHHH!” and bangs his head on his desk. I thought, “Hey, Steven! Lighten up! It’s better than mine. You can’t even see my original writing through all of the teacher’s red marks on my paper.” Hanging out with Steven made me a better student. My grades improved a lot. . . like to a C.
The people that we hang around with can either strengthen us or weaken us. The group that we hang around with has a cumulative effect on us. Your group also has a cumulative intelligence quotient and a spiritual quotient as well-an SQ. Some of the ones in the groups are really close to God, and some are far away from God. You combine that all together, and you’ll get a spiritual quotient for the group. You want that SQ to be really high because they have a significant influence on your walk with God.
Your friends can be as close as (or even closer than) your family. Proverbs 17:17 says: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Think of the friends who are closest to you. No matter what you are going through, they are there for you. I sure hope you have friendships like that. I have a friend in California who is like a brother to me. Years ago we moved away from each other. We don’t talk on the phone a lot. We don’t keep up with each other regularly, but I know if there was anything that I needed, I could call him up and he would be there for me. When I started this new ministry, and I was raising support, he was the first person to start supporting me-and he offered before I even asked! It’s neat to have a friend like that.
