How guys and girls relate to their friends?
One of the things that troubles me most about today’s culture is the warped view of opposite sex relationships. On television shows and movies, almost every guy-girl relationship has people jumping in bed-or at least trying to jump in bed or talking about jumping in bed. The preoccupation with sex robs young people of rich, rewarding relationships with people of the opposite sex. I hope you will develop some really good, non-romantic friendships. You will learn so much from being caring and honest with each other. And it will help you when you date someone more seriously because you will know how to communicate verbally instead of just physically. Good dating relationships and good marriages are based on terrific verbal communication skills. Work hard to develop those. The physical part is easy.
As you try to relate to the opposite sex, don’t get caught off guard! Here’s a news flash: They aren’t like you! Understand the differences so your expectations can be more realistic. . . so you won’t get hurt and so you can communicate more easily and directly. Here are a few differences:
Guys are:
- more competitive. They make a contest out of everything. “I can get more donuts in my mouth than you can!” “I can make a lower grade on my math test than you!” And other dumb stuff like that. They are obviously competitive about sports, but they are also fiercely competitive about girls, cars, and their pride.
- more compartmentalized. They can talk about a part of their lives that’s going down the tubes, then they put it aside and talk about the game that night as if nothing is affecting them at all. Weird, huh, girls?
- more self-reliant. They want to make their own decisions in their own way in their own time and get their own rewards. (And if they fail, they blame somebody else!)
Girls are:
- more emotional. Most women don’t care as much about winning as they care about caring and belonging. The feelings of others are more important to them than a game. If the game is important, however, girls put their hearts and souls into it and get just as much joy from winning - or just as much grief from losing - as the guys.
- more holistic. Girls don’t segment their minds and hearts. If they are upset about something, it colors every other part of their lives. And if they are happy, that joy spills over into other parts, too. more relational. Guys go to the bathroom by themselves. Girls go in herds. Enough said. No, really. . . women value relationships more than positions and prestige or virtually anything else. They typically make better friends than guys.
Of course, these are stereotypes, and not every guy or girl fits exactly. If we understand the basic tendencies of the sexes, we will be prepared for the strange words coming out of their mouths and the odd behaviors they display! Learn to appreciate the differences so you can relate well to people of the opposite sex. Make friends, not babies.
