How can I be a good friend?
We have to be good friends as well as find them. In fact, the quality of our friendships almost always is a reflection of our own characters. Here’s a list of questions to ask yourself to see if you have a high FQ (a high Friend Quotient). Give yourself a score between 0 (Freddy Krueger is a better friend than you are!) to 10 (You da best!) for each statement:
___1. I haven’t spread any gossip in the past week. I keep juicy things to myself.
___2. I am a good listener. I give eye-contact and ask second and third questions.
___3. I am even-tempered. I don’t explode or withdraw when I am upset.
___4. I am happy for people, not threatened, when they succeed.
___5. I feel sad when others (even those I don’t like) fail.
___6. I have the confidence and skills to be really honest with someone about things that bother me in our relationship. When I’m honest, the problem is usually resolved.
___7. I appreciate it when someone is painfully honest with me. I receive it gracefully.
___8. I take appropriate responsibility for my behavior. I am neither a blame thrower nor a blame sponge.
___9. One of my strengths is picking the right kind of friends.
___10. I know how to stay away from foolish and wicked people without creating a scene.
___ Total. Add up your numbers.
This is your Friendship Score. Now, here’s a challenge: Ask your best friends to take the test with you in mind. See if they agree with you about your friendship skills.
All of us can learn and grow in our ability to be a trusted friend. One of the ways I have learned is through failure. Yeah, I wish I was smart enough to learn in other ways, but experience seems to be my best teacher. I’ve learned (and I’m still learning) to be honest without being brutal or running away, and I’m still learning that true friendships are more valuable than almost anything else in the whole world. Sometimes I think of the disciples with Jesus when He spoke to them in John 15. They had watched Jesus do his God-thing of miracles and teaching day after day. They were in awe of Him. In the middle of one of their last intimate times together, Jesus told them, “You are my friends.” Wow! A friend of the Savior of the World, the Creator of the Universe!
Even if everyone else betrays us, we have a Friend who never fails, who is always there, and who always is strong and loving. Pretty cool, huh?! The more we know Him, the more we will learn about how to be a true friend to others.
