ThanksBook
This quick and easy exercise is a fun way for kids and parents to practice the fine art of gratitude. It couldn’t be more simple, but the results are surprisingly powerful for the whole family.
One of the most often heard complaints from parents about kids is that they are ungrateful. As parents, we know how much effort goes into providing for a family. Beyond the hours of work involved in generating an income to make ends meet, most parents willingly go the extra mile to give their kids the time, stuff, and foods they really enjoy. Parents like giving kids good things, right?
It’s not surprising, then, that it stings when our kids so obviously take what we do for them for granted, selfishly complaining about what they don’t have instead of enjoying and being grateful for what we’ve sweated to give them.
When we’re honest, we’ll admit to occasionally displaying that same selfishness towards our Father in heaven, getting stuck in a rotten attitude about what we’re missing in life instead of getting stuck in a delighted attitude about the avalanche of good things He’s given to us.
This month’s activity is intended to help both parents and kids to be more intentional together about expressing our thanks to God.
We’re basing it on a radical belief in James 1:17: “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
And we’re pairing that with a radical attempt to more fully obey 1 Thessalonians 5:18: “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
In other words, we’re convinced that every good thing in our lives—from God’s forgiveness for our sins to the new Xbox game we just got to a particularly delicious ear of corn—is a gift straight from the Father to us. And we’re convinced that He both enjoys and has commanded our “thank you’s.”
Try This
Get a journal or notebook or writing pad of some kind that can begin to serve as your “thank you” list. On the first page, consider writing the two verses listed above.
Pick the time of day when most of the family is most likely to be together. That might be breakfast or dinner or bedtime. Please note, though, this is not “family devotions.” Don’t call it that or you might cause everyone within earshot to quickly glaze over.
Instead, explain that you’re going to take turns naming things you’re thankful to God for, working around the table (or room) two or three times. Designate someone to write down the day’s date and then list the “thank you” items under that entry.
Finally, have someone read through the list and very briefly thank God for each item.
That’s it. Period. Don’t linger. Stop there and set the list aside until the next day. Then pick it up again and do the same thing. The real value will come in playing this little game most days over weeks and months.
One rule: There are no rules about what’s allowed on the list as long as it’s a real thing that someone might really tell God thanks for. Our four-year-old always surprises us with things like, “salt and pepper,” “manta rays,” or the name of his favorite toy that day. That’s just fine. The idea is to expand our thinking about all the things we can tell God “thank you” for, to let Him enjoy our gratitude for anything we can bring ourselves to take notice of.
If you are able to make this a habit over a month or two, you’ll start to enjoy looking back over the short lists of “thank you’s” from the past. Not only will they remind you of how God is providing for you over time, they become a kind of diary of what good things were on your mind during those days and weeks.
As parents, my wife and I have found this activity extremely encouraging. Not only does it give us a proactive way to model gratitude for our family, it makes us accountable to practice intentional gratitude on the days when we’d likely avoid it. It also brings great joy to hear our son telling God thanks for things we ourselves so easily take for granted.
Sherry Hunt on Jul 06, 2009 said...
This is such a great idea! I am always looking for new ways to get my children involved with God. And let them know. It isn’t something we just do on Sunday. And I was praying and talking to God the other day. I was looking at all of my problems. I was reflecting on being in the hospital because of stress again. When God spoke to me. And said: You used to look at all of the good in your life. Now you look at the bad. Start praising me for the good again. I said that is such an awesome revelation. I can not wait to start this with my children.